The sun was what woke me up. It was blazing through my small window and right into my face. I pushed the mountainous covers back a little as I rolled over and propped up on one elbow in order to be able to look out.
The sun was shining brightly on the big broad leaves of the corn stalks which were now far above my tall head, the grass was as green as it could be, and the sky was the brightest blue with big fluffy white clouds.
It was just beautiful outside, but inside of me wasn’t as beautiful as the morning was.
I let myself fall back into the covers to think for a few minutes – only a few, I promised myself, and then I would get up and get going.
I had a lot on my mind.
Life (for me) in the last while had seemed like such a bitter lemon.
I thought about my list of miseries – not having hardly any money, someone I really liked not even noticing I existed, being bored to death of the same things every day, being depressed and feeling awful about myself in every way possible, and millions of tiny things piled on top.
The frown deepened on my face as I thought more and more – I didn’t even notice how ugly I must’ve looked until I realized I was frowning so hard my face had started to feel funny.
I closed my eyes for a minute and tried not to think about how my heart was feeling right then.
But swirling around and around me were all the plaguing things until I felt really ready to cry.
Then a thought came to me –
What of these things???
What about them?
So what if you don’t have money to buy all the clothes you want, get yourself a Coach purse and all the accessories you want, get your own phone and get your own car?
Well, so what?!
Didn’t you just read with your own eyes about a little girl in Africa who has to stay up until after midnight catching white ants so her family can have a dinner the next day, and didn’t you see with your own eyes the pictures of her community?!
Who are you to talk about not having money?! Who are to think you don’t have what you need, what you want?
And what if you did have more money? Would you selfishly use it on something like a Coach purse, when you already have many bags, and there are people in the world who don’t even have something to eat?!
You never don’t have something to eat – and you have so, so, so, much more on top of that……..
So what if this guy doesn’t like you? Don’t you believe that if you, your heart, your whole life belong to God it would work out if it’s supposed to? Stop being soppy!!! Your heart is fine, and you’ll have to get over it!
Here you are, wishing he’d like you, and wishing he’d see you as the adult you are instead of a kid, and then you go and pout like a baby when things don’t work out the way you want them to!!!
A groan inside me as I start to realize, and my eyes open a little wider……….
And why are you complaining about what you have to do every day, and where you have to go?
Don’t you think there are girls somewhere who have worse circumstances than you do?! Or do you have the most unfortunate situation in the whole world? How many people would count you lucky, how many people would think you must be so happy, because your life is so wonderful, and you have so much to be thankful for?
Have so much to be thankful for……….
Well, isn’t it true?
At a moment when we ask ourselves this question all those things come to mind – things like no money, a relationship that isn’t going to work out, a job we hate, or a life we hate, and our very selves that we – In one way or every way, right girls? – hate.
But what about these things? Really?
To us they seem like mountains, when we stop to think for a minute about the way God sees things, the way others see things, and the way we’re supposed to be seeing things, they seem like small troubles. Maybe they even turn into good.
I was thinking about my tomorrows – my future. It seemed like something (if it was going to turn out to be anything at all) bleak.
But what I realized was that each day is what makes up the tomorrows and the future.
If we’re losing today by just getting through it, or spending it wishing everything was different, and not living it, we’re losing the tomorrows and the future.
We have today.
Today is the gift you were given.
The day, right now, is a gift.
Things might seem imperfect to you, things might seem awful to you, things might even be really painful or dark for you, but don’t lose tomorrow, the future, because you didn’t live life today.
Why is it that we lose the wonder?
Why is it that we don’t naturally wake up with praise to the Lord in our hearts right away for another day, and for all our blessings?
Why don’t we?!
We have to begin to today – to do it each day. Because we have so much to be thankful for.